Vancouver Family Magazine Blog

One of this month’s online articles--The Art of Being Unconditionally Happy--struck a chord with me.  I’d recently started to wonder if I was enjoying life enough, if I was allowing room for “spontaneous happiness.” If I was open to those things in life that put things in perspective--you know, those little things that are so easy to miss if you’re focused on or worried about something else.  And there is always something to occupy your mind, isn’t there? Your kids, your job, all the errands and busy work that seems to fill your time too quickly.

In the article, Marti MacGibbon offers several suggestions to “harness the power of the moment.” Her advice seemed sound, and worth following. So this past week, I tried to take a different approach to things. Here’s how it went . . . 

Happy Moment #1: our eldest is struggling in one of his classes. Not academically (he has a good grade), but with understanding why his teacher seems to “be picking on him." His teacher wants him to reach his potential, but sometimes her attempts do not come across in a favorable way to my son. He’s trying to work through this, but the past week was one stressful day after another (for the entire family). Every day, we weren’t sure what kind of mood he’d be in when we picked him up from school. On Thursday, instead of getting into a major discussion, I simply let my son share. I didn’t ask him what was wrong or if anything had happened in the class. I had previously asked my husband not to ask any questions, either. Instead, we let our son talk about his feelings. And we just listened. No advice, no lecture, no judging. Just listened. And a funny thing happened as I listened. I heard my son. Really heard him. Where he was coming from, how hard he was trying, how much he wanted to do his best but was stressed by the pressure. I didn’t focus on the negative part of the situation, but tried to keep my mind open. It was quite an experience.

Happy Moment #2: we made a short trip over the bridge this weekend. Our destination was an orchard near Salem, Ore. We love going to orchards--it reminds us of our best times spent in Michigan, picking apples, drinking hot cider, taking in the brisk fall air. We were very excited by the prospect of discovering a new place to pick apples, and everyone was eager to reach the place. Once there, I quickly realized that the orchard was not exactly what we had in mind. I won’t get into details, because I don’t want to disparage the orchard (and it was a nice place)--so I’ll just say that once we got there, I could tell the boys were disappointed and just as eager to leave. It would have been too easy to let the experience turn south.

Instead, I took in my surroundings and found things to like. And I shared those things with the boys. Things like the wonderful variety of apples, and the freshly made pumpkin and apple cider donuts, and the friendly employees who cheerfully let me take pictures of them making said donuts.  We walked through the small shop and took our time appreciating what they had to offer. My youngest helped select produce, and he really took his time with each choice. My oldest (always the first to complain), started to get into the moment, and even had a smile on his face by the time we left (and that’s not an easy thing with a middle schooler). On the drive back, we enjoyed some of our purchases (cider and donuts, yum) and took in the beautiful trees along the way. It was a nice day after all.

Two happy moments over the course of a week. I had more, but those two stand out. And to think, I would’ve missed them were it not for The Art of Being Unconditionally Happy. Thanks, Marti.

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I can sense it. That ennui that kicks in about the same time the sun stops making its appearance. It hits our youngest first, and then, like those nasty flu bugs, makes it round to every member of our family. It reached me today. Hopefully I’ve noticed in time to shake the doldrums and Do Something! Otherwise, it’ll be another long, dreary season.

In case it’s made its way to your house, here are a few things to get you motivated to get out, stay active and enjoy (rather than lament) this fall weather.

The downtown Vancouver Farmers Market runs on a regular basis until Oct 30^th, so there’s still time to get seasonal produce and other goods. Even after this month, there are a couple of opportunities to shop for your holiday table. Nov 19^th is their Thanksgiving Market, Dec 11^th and 18^th are set aside for their Holiday Market.

There are many opportunities to both enjoy and help preserve nature. Thanks to organizations that are part of the Vancouver Watershed Alliance, your family can spend some time outdoors, while making a positive difference. Make a Difference Day (10/22) kicks off a round of events that provide opportunities to add to the natural beauty that surrounds us. You can help plant trees at Fisher’s Landing (10/29), learn how to battle invasive plants (10/22), and attend a family field trip (11/5)!

When life hands you apples, make apple cider! Apple Cider Pressing at the Cedar Creek Grist Mill is a perfect way to spend a day in the brisk outdoors. You can watch and learn how cider is made – or, you can jump right in and press some apples yourself! Oct 29^th.

Happy Fall!

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One of the things we truly miss about living in Michigan: the fall season. The oranges and purples and reds that filled the trees for a few short weeks, only to quietly fall to the ground creating a yet another dazzling display of color. Picking apples, choosing just the right pumpkins to carve, enjoying hot cider and freshly made apple donuts.  Over the past two years, we've found a few places that allow us to enjoy the best of the season. While most are a good distance away, the drive is always enjoyable, though perhaps not quite as much as the destination. If you plan things right, you may just be able to take in most or all of the places below before the season is over.

Bi-Zi Farms may only be open on the weekends, but that's plenty of time to pack in tons of fun. This is one of our first stops of the season, with hay rides, duck races & a petting zoo and a pumpkin launch. Very nice-sized pumpkins, too! This year we might even make it through the corn maze without getting too lost.

The Pumpkin Patch on Sauvie Island is a great spot for fall fun, especially of the hay and pumpkin variety. Climb the hay pyramid, venture through the hay maze, and then take a hayride to the pumpkin field. The cow train and animal barn are also popular! Specific activities run different days/times, but free hayrides to pumpkin fields are offered daily Oct 1-31,

Where: 16511 NW Gillihan Rd., Sauvie Island, Portland; 503-621-3874

At Plumper Pumpkin Patch and Tree Farm, the fun doesn't stop at picking pumpkins. A pumpkin slingshot for older kids, and duck races and a playground for the younger ones. Hayrides, pumpkin bowling, and kettle corn made one site. Watch out for flinging pumpkins--trebuchet and cannon demos on the weekends.

Where: 11435 NW Old Cornelius Pass Rd, Portland; 503-645-9561

Every year, Rasmussen Farms turns their 32x100 sq ft greenhouse into Pumpkin Funland! There's Halloween Hut, a corn maze, and 14 acres of u-pick pumpkins, including Cinderella and Sugar Pumpkins, ideal for baking. Bring lunch to enjoy in the covered picnic area, seasonal baked goods available for purchase.

Where: 3020 Thomsen Road, Hood River; 541-386-4622

Mazes, Frontier Fort, Corn Tunnel - and a rock wall, obstacle course and zip line. Exhausted yet? Fortunately kids tend to have more energy, so head over to Bauman’s Pumpkin Patch for a day (or more) of fun!

Where: 12989 Howell Prairie Road, Gervais; 503-792-3524

Lee Farms offers something for everyone during their annual Harvest Festival--farm animal display, hay maze, giant slide and bounce pillow, and hay and pony rides. And cider and pumpkin donuts! Several varieties of pumpkins available, including some perfect for baking.

Where: 21975 SW 65^th Ave, Tualatin; 503-638-1869

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 Maybe you've heard of this one.

Your pre-teen wants a cell phone.
You don't want your pre-teen to have a cell phone.
Now, it may seem as if that's the dilemma right there . . . but it's not. At least not for us.

Said pre-teen is now experiencing anxiety over all the possible things that could happen to his parents during the school day. He wants to know he can reach us, and that if we're ever running late (we're not), we're only a text away from a panic attack.

At first I thought this was his way of "working the cell phone angle." Then I started asking around. Turns out, this is the age when kids start to realize that "things happen," and sometimes, there's little you can do about it. It might be something minor, like getting stuck in traffic. Or it could be something far worse. Whatever the cause for running late, the effect is fear and worry. And no parent wants their child to experience either.
Some may say it's part of life. Yes, things happen. And fear and worry are emotions we all have to experience and work through as we mature. Still. If something like a cell phone gives him that added bit of security at a time when there's enough emotional turmoil (ah, those pre-teen through young adult years). . . .

When I was a younger parent, I often wondered why young children had need of a cell phone. Okay--I'll admit it, I thought it was wrong. I thought "Oh, some parent caved in and bought her kid a cell phone." Well, I'm that parent now. Did I cave? Maybe. Was I wrong to buy him a cell phone? I don't know . . . yet.

It only has call and text--no pictures or Internet, so I feel somewhat better about that. There are also parental controls we can use, plus the whole "anything less than a B, and the phone's mine" bonus.  It's just that he's still young . . . and he has a cell phone.

But perhaps I'm more concerned that he's so young . . . and he's worried about things like "what might happen to his parents." He's at that age when he still needs us so much, but realizes that parents aren't superheroes. Not in the comic-book sense. Not in the "no harm can ever really come to them" sense. And that's the dilemma.
How do we, as parents, continue to provide that sense of security, of safety – when we know that we can't really promise that completely?

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